I think pants are overrated. Every day people all over the world get up and toss on a pair of pants to go to work, play, or just to sit around on their fat ass and watch TV. But why do we always wear pants? Personally I would be a lot happier if I could just walk around naked. Imagine the benefits of being naked. People would exercise and stay in shape because they would be embarrassed to be too overweight so people would be healthier. People would be less ashamed of their bodies and less fascinated with the bodies of the opposite sex. We could save the money we spend on pants (or clothes in general) and boost our savings accounts. Children would be able to learn about their bodies without the shame that their parents put upon them. Crime could go down because we would carry less.
Plus it is just fun to be naked!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
God is Love... Christians miss the memo
God = Love
Christians have demonstrated this through the Crusades, Inqusition, the Catholic Church assisting the Nazi’s, and of course slavery, sweatshops, and child labor.
That kind of love can kill ya!
Christians have demonstrated this through the Crusades, Inqusition, the Catholic Church assisting the Nazi’s, and of course slavery, sweatshops, and child labor.
That kind of love can kill ya!
No worries mon!
A Dubai-based company is looking to take over management of six US seaports. President Bush stated that Americans should not be worried about security and safety from this deal.
"People don't need to worry about security," Bush said., “Hell, most American’s don’t even live near the ports, so what is the problem?”
"People don't need to worry about security," Bush said., “Hell, most American’s don’t even live near the ports, so what is the problem?”
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Chaney gets tired of hunting birds, goes for something bigger!
After eight years of driving liberals and most sane Americans crazy, everyone can finally find something to love in Vice President Dick Chaney.
The “Big Dick”, as many people call him (except his wife who cannot stop laughing when she hears the nickname) shot up a Texas lawyer.
Chaney claims this was an accident, but it proves a few things to the American public:
1 – Chaney’s aim sucks
2 – Chaney hates lawyers as much as any normal American, he just has enough power to get away with shooting one!
I think this is decisive action, and finally an act by the “Conservative” Bush party that I can get behind. I think everyone should start taking lawyers “hunting.”
I just hope that the rest of us have better aim.
Besides, February is lawyer season in Texas is it not?
The “Big Dick”, as many people call him (except his wife who cannot stop laughing when she hears the nickname) shot up a Texas lawyer.
Chaney claims this was an accident, but it proves a few things to the American public:
1 – Chaney’s aim sucks
2 – Chaney hates lawyers as much as any normal American, he just has enough power to get away with shooting one!
I think this is decisive action, and finally an act by the “Conservative” Bush party that I can get behind. I think everyone should start taking lawyers “hunting.”
I just hope that the rest of us have better aim.
Besides, February is lawyer season in Texas is it not?
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Why I do not live in Turkey:
"What appears to be an explosive material has exploded at a Bayrampasa internet cafe," Istanbul police chief Celalettin Cerrah told reporters after visiting the scene.
Thanks Chief!
Thanks Chief!
Friday, February 03, 2006
World of Warcraft Looting Rules
I have played with a few groups in World of Warcraft now (being new to the game and enjoying the time I play in 2 people groups or solo) and I have noted some differences in the way groups loot. To that I wanted to establish my own set of rules to use when I am in a group as the leader or to recommend to a group I am joining.
Here Goes:
When an item of use (or value) drops the person looting should ask the group if anyone NEEDS it. At that point the people who need it should roll for it (or if it is one person they should loot it).
If no one NEEDS the item it should be rolled on by everyone interested in the item.
Everyone should get one item before anyone gets a second item (the exception being, if a caster rolls on a low level piece of leather armor with everyone else and a really good wand or staff comes up later they should be allowed to roll or loot here if the rest of the group does not NEED the item).
Common sense should be the guide to looting. Warriors should not roll on wands when the mage in their group could really use it and that mage should not roll on that bright shiny new armor when the warrior could use it as well.
Passing on good items that you cannot use and only want to sell means that people are more likely to pass on the items you can use and everyone goes home happy.
The Lightning Troopers have a good guide to looting here: http://www.lightningtroopers.com/ltlootrules.htm
Here Goes:
When an item of use (or value) drops the person looting should ask the group if anyone NEEDS it. At that point the people who need it should roll for it (or if it is one person they should loot it).
If no one NEEDS the item it should be rolled on by everyone interested in the item.
Everyone should get one item before anyone gets a second item (the exception being, if a caster rolls on a low level piece of leather armor with everyone else and a really good wand or staff comes up later they should be allowed to roll or loot here if the rest of the group does not NEED the item).
Common sense should be the guide to looting. Warriors should not roll on wands when the mage in their group could really use it and that mage should not roll on that bright shiny new armor when the warrior could use it as well.
Passing on good items that you cannot use and only want to sell means that people are more likely to pass on the items you can use and everyone goes home happy.
The Lightning Troopers have a good guide to looting here: http://www.lightningtroopers.com/ltlootrules.htm
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Resolving the “terror” problems
Here, today, I am inviting Osama Bin Laden to an iron cage match with the President of the United States, George W. Bush. There seems to be a lot of disagreement between these two men, mainly on which one of them should rot in a snake pit while rabid hamsters eat their testicles; but all of this could be resolved in the cage!
The WWE does not get the respect they deserve for coming up with this idea which I feel is caused by wrestling having become such a freak show with sub-plots and storylines that split and change direction mid show. However if the cage match was used to resolve real world issues think about how much more entertaining that would be.
Two men enter
One man leaves
Two men enter
One man leaves
Two men enter
One man leaves
Personally I do not see much of a loss if it is two men enter and no man leaves. As long as someone takes Chaney out at the same time.
The WWE does not get the respect they deserve for coming up with this idea which I feel is caused by wrestling having become such a freak show with sub-plots and storylines that split and change direction mid show. However if the cage match was used to resolve real world issues think about how much more entertaining that would be.
Two men enter
One man leaves
Two men enter
One man leaves
Two men enter
One man leaves
Personally I do not see much of a loss if it is two men enter and no man leaves. As long as someone takes Chaney out at the same time.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
The lost art of online gaming...
My fun in World of Warcraft continues, although I am still boggled by some of the things that go on in the game.
People will run up to me and just launch the window that prompts to group instead of first asking if I want to group or even saying “Hi”
People who type everything in CAPITAL letters and cannot type out a sentence or carry on a conversation. That drives me crazy. If you are going to group, why not have a conversation and chat a little?!?
My favorite though is the number of people that ask if I would like to join their guild. Now some people take the time to at least play the game with me for a few minutes (like the couple I met – Wifey and Husband). They were the closest I came to accepting. Although I find myself being drawn to the people I meet who do not ask if I have any interest in joining their guild.
Much of the time I enjoy just playing the game solo and in small groups but I just don’t have the urge to join a guild at this time.
It is not that I want to be anti-social, nor do I not want to help people out. There are times I spend hours helping people with their quests, which is always fun for me to help people along (and gain some exp along the way ;)
I guess that social interaction is hurt by the age ranges in the game, I believe the guy I played with was very young as the most he ever said is “WHAT NOW?” while we were exploring.
The game is not as much fun when the interaction is not there or when your playing with someone who runs away before you can heal them and they die; but that is a rant for another day!
Maybe I am the last of me breed, a player who just wants to play and stand his own ground.
As a side note, there are not many people online at 6:45 AM!
People will run up to me and just launch the window that prompts to group instead of first asking if I want to group or even saying “Hi”
People who type everything in CAPITAL letters and cannot type out a sentence or carry on a conversation. That drives me crazy. If you are going to group, why not have a conversation and chat a little?!?
My favorite though is the number of people that ask if I would like to join their guild. Now some people take the time to at least play the game with me for a few minutes (like the couple I met – Wifey and Husband). They were the closest I came to accepting. Although I find myself being drawn to the people I meet who do not ask if I have any interest in joining their guild.
Much of the time I enjoy just playing the game solo and in small groups but I just don’t have the urge to join a guild at this time.
It is not that I want to be anti-social, nor do I not want to help people out. There are times I spend hours helping people with their quests, which is always fun for me to help people along (and gain some exp along the way ;)
I guess that social interaction is hurt by the age ranges in the game, I believe the guy I played with was very young as the most he ever said is “WHAT NOW?” while we were exploring.
The game is not as much fun when the interaction is not there or when your playing with someone who runs away before you can heal them and they die; but that is a rant for another day!
Maybe I am the last of me breed, a player who just wants to play and stand his own ground.
As a side note, there are not many people online at 6:45 AM!
Do as I say, not as I do!
U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said any group that participates in a democratic process should "ultimately disarm." Otherwise, he said, there was a "fundamental contradiction."
This was said about Hamas winning power in Palestine, of course my question is how has democracy survived so long under the strength of arms in the US, France, Germany, wherever…
How many times has the US government used military strength to shut down their “enemy” or even protesters within the country?
Why is it that we expect Hamas to disarm from their goal of protecting themselves from Israel when we are “enforcing peace” in Iraq, a country that never really posed a threat to us.
Considering the number of casualties on the innocent Palestinian side far outweighs the number of casualties on the Israel side.
This was said about Hamas winning power in Palestine, of course my question is how has democracy survived so long under the strength of arms in the US, France, Germany, wherever…
How many times has the US government used military strength to shut down their “enemy” or even protesters within the country?
Why is it that we expect Hamas to disarm from their goal of protecting themselves from Israel when we are “enforcing peace” in Iraq, a country that never really posed a threat to us.
Considering the number of casualties on the innocent Palestinian side far outweighs the number of casualties on the Israel side.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I heard a news article on the radio today about a young man who decided to sell crack on the Internet. Personally I find this to be very enterprising of him. He was only trying to expand his market and increase sales!
The police however disagree with me. They contacted him via the phone number he provided and arranged to meet with him to "purchase some product"
At least he will be getting a few free meals out of the deal.
The police however disagree with me. They contacted him via the phone number he provided and arranged to meet with him to "purchase some product"
At least he will be getting a few free meals out of the deal.
Quick Thought
Something a man should never say: I’m sorry it is kinda small!
(This was heard in a meeting today)
Monday, January 23, 2006
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Playing Online...
I have, again, gotten sucked into a online game… I don’t know what it is about these games that just make me want to sit around and play, but man they are addictive for a while.
While I played EQ for a year or so, I have switched to World of Warcraft (being a Blizzard fan from days gone by). So far it has been as much fun as EQ, although it seems that the prey in the game is easier in Warcraft than it ever was in EQ.
Soloing in Warcraft (as a Druid) I am easily able to take down creatures that are 2 or 3 levels above me, there are times when I die, but I have had some good luck so far… until last night.
I was working on a quest where you have to get a bottle of water filled, so I head out to the river and go to where the quest requires you to go and attempted to collect my water. I was quickly attacked by the baddies located there and had to run away (Killer rabbits get you every time).
Two other people were working on the same quest, so I got us all together and we killed off the two bad guys that attacked when you tried to get the water. Then as I am standing there waiting for them to get their water they go charging into the bad guy cave and bring out extra enemies… I die.
I died, of course, because I was not really paying attention to my own life bar, so I cannot entirely blame my teammates, I would say it was their fault we got attacked and my fault for keeping my head in my ass.
I got back to my body, came back to life, etc etc, and my partners repeated the same trick… I died again.
I didn’t have time to protect myself, although again I probably had my head up my ass…
So, the point here is, keep your head out of your ass and your group-mates out of the dammed cave!
While I played EQ for a year or so, I have switched to World of Warcraft (being a Blizzard fan from days gone by). So far it has been as much fun as EQ, although it seems that the prey in the game is easier in Warcraft than it ever was in EQ.
Soloing in Warcraft (as a Druid) I am easily able to take down creatures that are 2 or 3 levels above me, there are times when I die, but I have had some good luck so far… until last night.
I was working on a quest where you have to get a bottle of water filled, so I head out to the river and go to where the quest requires you to go and attempted to collect my water. I was quickly attacked by the baddies located there and had to run away (Killer rabbits get you every time).
Two other people were working on the same quest, so I got us all together and we killed off the two bad guys that attacked when you tried to get the water. Then as I am standing there waiting for them to get their water they go charging into the bad guy cave and bring out extra enemies… I die.
I died, of course, because I was not really paying attention to my own life bar, so I cannot entirely blame my teammates, I would say it was their fault we got attacked and my fault for keeping my head in my ass.
I got back to my body, came back to life, etc etc, and my partners repeated the same trick… I died again.
I didn’t have time to protect myself, although again I probably had my head up my ass…
So, the point here is, keep your head out of your ass and your group-mates out of the dammed cave!
France just won't talk (from the AP)
France rejected Iran's request for more talks on the Islamic republic's nuclear program, saying Wednesday that Tehran first must suspend its atomic activities.Iran reported that they had trouble hearing France over the sound of rifles dropping.
Where did I leave my “Freedom Fries”?
France rejected Iran's request for more talks on the Islamic republic's nuclear program, saying Wednesday that Tehran first must suspend its atomic activities.Iran reported that they had trouble hearing France over the sound of rifles dropping.
Where did I leave my “Freedom Fries”?
My 2006 Top Ten List:
10. Spend more time with my daughters, less time on other things
9. Finish my model helicopter
8. Finish the basement (Planned Finish Date: Christmas 2005)
7. Finish this list (Planned Finish Date: Half past a monkey's ass)
6. Come up with a funny top 10 list
5. Exercise more -- Cake is just so tasty...
4. Organize all the porn on my computer
3. Stop “Reality TV" -- Give me a gun and we will have a real "survivor" show.
2. Never ever again bet on Indy in January
1. Find the real killer (This is an OJ Joke)
10. Spend more time with my daughters, less time on other things
9. Finish my model helicopter
8. Finish the basement (Planned Finish Date: Christmas 2005)
7. Finish this list (Planned Finish Date: Half past a monkey's ass)
6. Come up with a funny top 10 list
5. Exercise more -- Cake is just so tasty...
4. Organize all the porn on my computer
3. Stop “Reality TV" -- Give me a gun and we will have a real "survivor" show.
2. Never ever again bet on Indy in January
1. Find the real killer (This is an OJ Joke)
Monday, November 28, 2005
The failings of a great sport city...
St. Louis was once the "Greatest Sports City" or so the Sporting News claimed. But today we look at the tatted remains of the Blues and the Rams and wonder how this could be.
That is not to say that both teams don't know how to win. They have talent on their bench and some rays of hope, what both teams are lacking is the will to win.
They have no heart.
For the past few years the Blues have been the best team in the league at playing two periods and then quitting. Until this year they had the talent to do this and still win games (that is except in the playoffs). This year they lack the talent to pull this little trick off.
The Rams use to be able to run circles around other teams and everything was a race from one end of the field to the other while defences were worn down. Now the Rams still make the turnovers they did when they were winning and they still play with holes in their defence, the difference is the offense is no longer scoring 40 points a game and they often have trouble keeping up with the teams in the league.
I would just like to remind the players of St. Louis and every team that little kids want to be like you, they look up to you. Sure, you may not have asked for this, and it may not be fair; but when is life fair? You are paid to play a game and every time you step out onto the field of play you should give everything you have. If you don't then your cheating the fans, the team, and those kids who dream of playing the game with you.
Jerry Rice still gives 110%. Why can't the younger players on the Rams and the Blues? If you cannot promise to give the effort for every second of the game then it is time for you to find a new line of work and please please please do not invite Doug "Dead" Weight back to camp next year.
Perhaps McDonalds needs you to work 2/3 of a shift.
St. Louis was once the "Greatest Sports City" or so the Sporting News claimed. But today we look at the tatted remains of the Blues and the Rams and wonder how this could be.
That is not to say that both teams don't know how to win. They have talent on their bench and some rays of hope, what both teams are lacking is the will to win.
They have no heart.
For the past few years the Blues have been the best team in the league at playing two periods and then quitting. Until this year they had the talent to do this and still win games (that is except in the playoffs). This year they lack the talent to pull this little trick off.
The Rams use to be able to run circles around other teams and everything was a race from one end of the field to the other while defences were worn down. Now the Rams still make the turnovers they did when they were winning and they still play with holes in their defence, the difference is the offense is no longer scoring 40 points a game and they often have trouble keeping up with the teams in the league.
I would just like to remind the players of St. Louis and every team that little kids want to be like you, they look up to you. Sure, you may not have asked for this, and it may not be fair; but when is life fair? You are paid to play a game and every time you step out onto the field of play you should give everything you have. If you don't then your cheating the fans, the team, and those kids who dream of playing the game with you.
Jerry Rice still gives 110%. Why can't the younger players on the Rams and the Blues? If you cannot promise to give the effort for every second of the game then it is time for you to find a new line of work and please please please do not invite Doug "Dead" Weight back to camp next year.
Perhaps McDonalds needs you to work 2/3 of a shift.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Bird Flu?
Bird Flu?
Some people say the bird flu will get you, I say avoid sexual contact, close quarters, or cleaning up the puffs from a sick chicken and you have a good chance of surviving.
Check out this article: http://www.fumento.com/disease/flu2005.html and remember, it is not the size of the cock that matters, but if he has avian flu!
Some people say the bird flu will get you, I say avoid sexual contact, close quarters, or cleaning up the puffs from a sick chicken and you have a good chance of surviving.
Check out this article: http://www.fumento.com/disease/flu2005.html and remember, it is not the size of the cock that matters, but if he has avian flu!
Erin Crocker provides a Yes!
Erin Crocker provides a yes!
For the first time in NASCAR history there is a driver that I would want to find out that I had a drunken sexual rampage with. That driver is Erin Crocker.
Sorry Jeff (Gordon)…
For the first time in NASCAR history there is a driver that I would want to find out that I had a drunken sexual rampage with. That driver is Erin Crocker.
Sorry Jeff (Gordon)…
I am planning on releasing a new line of "bipartisan" bumperstickers featuring sayings such as:
"Your canadate sucks!"
"Your stance on __________ is wrong!"
"Let OJ take a stab at president!"
"Screw your right to vote, Survivor is on!"
"The elections are just really bad reality TV right?"
"If you vote for that guy, you won't get to have sex again!"
More to come...
"Your canadate sucks!"
"Your stance on __________ is wrong!"
"Let OJ take a stab at president!"
"Screw your right to vote, Survivor is on!"
"The elections are just really bad reality TV right?"
"If you vote for that guy, you won't get to have sex again!"
More to come...
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