Things I don't understand:
People sending you IMs that start "Are you there?" or "Can I ask you a question?" Why not just type your message and I'll respond to it when I get to it????
Along this point, why do people not understand how to use Google? I am always being asked where to find something on the internet, to which I simply open Google on their machine and type in what they are looking for...
Come on people, Google is in the news every day. Google is everywhere. Use it, love it, become part of it!!!!
Commonsense seems to stop anytime someone gets within 10 feet of a computer.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Classic spam e-mail:
hi,
finally got the masters tell mom and dad! :) i know they will be proud of me now! :)
sis you got to try this program... I doubted it at first too, but gave it a shot ... 2 weeks later got the masters!
call the # i gave you the other night, here it is again if you lost it 1-.2.0.6.-203-1217
they are still offering the B.A. B.S_C M.A M_S.C M.B_A P_H.D
Hurry the counselor said they aren't taking many more students for this offer..
Later tell everyone i said hi
love you,
Bro
Were those farmers practicing shouting next to the police station?.
Haven't the journalists liked surfing?.
Hasn't Buddy ever liked swimming?.
today i need to goto the store. .
Wasn't Dick missing talking on the street?.
Have you missed reading recently?.
Don't you practice cooking nicely?.
Until that day, he could not hear the language differences. He asked for the computer every day by pointing to it. He was allowed to spend time each day on the noun program. One year later he was talking in full sentences and was staffed into normal preschool..
tomorrow i will wash my hair and go to the salon.
I'll study as soon as you have liked skiing..
13. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty two e's, six f's, two g's, six h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, five l's, one m, eighteen n's, fourteen o's, one p, six r's, twenty seven s's, twenty t's, two u's, seven v's, nine w's, five x's, and five y's on the wall..
I am missing working right now..
Brian was a boy with Down's Syndrome. He was taking several medications. Brian came from a nurturing family and extended family who provided him with every opportunity. His mother was a teacher and wanted what was best for him. He exhibited no language and was considerably behind his other friends with Down?s Syndrome. We set up a noun program at school. At first he seemed disinterested. He looked at the pictures and sucked his thumb. The more we encouraged him to engage the keyboard, the more he sucked his thumb. We then paired him with a child who was very interested in the noun program. Suddenly the two were fighting over who was next to pick a picture. He worked several times a week at the computer. At his 3-year IEP, the team shook their heads. They didn't understand. Despite the track record of many students with Down?s Syndrome, Brian's language was his best skill. I smiled and his mother winked at me..
cheese burger and cheese fries .... mmmmm.
Do those plumbers always remember jumping?.
Then came THE PARENT. (Now, you need to know, I love the parents of the children I teach.) This parent arrived on the scene with her son who had Down?s Syndrome. She wanted a piece of software with REAL photos, one on each screen with the word in text and the word spoken aloud. I looked at her and thought to myself, ?B-O-R-I-N-G. The child will NEVER respond to that.?.
I'm not enjoying fighting over there..
The librarians don't remember skiing for more than an hour..
I am not missing surfing..
That librarian isn't enjoying jumping at the company..
Jackie has disliked writing since five weeks ago..
That computer programmer isn't enjoying swimming behind the post office right at this time.
Mr. Hanson isn't practicing working..
i need to get my nails manicured.
---------------------------------------------
Boy, I am rushing to call that number now. Operators are standing by!
hi,
finally got the masters tell mom and dad! :) i know they will be proud of me now! :)
sis you got to try this program... I doubted it at first too, but gave it a shot ... 2 weeks later got the masters!
call the # i gave you the other night, here it is again if you lost it 1-.2.0.6.-203-1217
they are still offering the B.A. B.S_C M.A M_S.C M.B_A P_H.D
Hurry the counselor said they aren't taking many more students for this offer..
Later tell everyone i said hi
love you,
Bro
Were those farmers practicing shouting next to the police station?.
Haven't the journalists liked surfing?.
Hasn't Buddy ever liked swimming?.
today i need to goto the store. .
Wasn't Dick missing talking on the street?.
Have you missed reading recently?.
Don't you practice cooking nicely?.
Until that day, he could not hear the language differences. He asked for the computer every day by pointing to it. He was allowed to spend time each day on the noun program. One year later he was talking in full sentences and was staffed into normal preschool..
tomorrow i will wash my hair and go to the salon.
I'll study as soon as you have liked skiing..
13. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty two e's, six f's, two g's, six h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, five l's, one m, eighteen n's, fourteen o's, one p, six r's, twenty seven s's, twenty t's, two u's, seven v's, nine w's, five x's, and five y's on the wall..
I am missing working right now..
Brian was a boy with Down's Syndrome. He was taking several medications. Brian came from a nurturing family and extended family who provided him with every opportunity. His mother was a teacher and wanted what was best for him. He exhibited no language and was considerably behind his other friends with Down?s Syndrome. We set up a noun program at school. At first he seemed disinterested. He looked at the pictures and sucked his thumb. The more we encouraged him to engage the keyboard, the more he sucked his thumb. We then paired him with a child who was very interested in the noun program. Suddenly the two were fighting over who was next to pick a picture. He worked several times a week at the computer. At his 3-year IEP, the team shook their heads. They didn't understand. Despite the track record of many students with Down?s Syndrome, Brian's language was his best skill. I smiled and his mother winked at me..
cheese burger and cheese fries .... mmmmm.
Do those plumbers always remember jumping?.
Then came THE PARENT. (Now, you need to know, I love the parents of the children I teach.) This parent arrived on the scene with her son who had Down?s Syndrome. She wanted a piece of software with REAL photos, one on each screen with the word in text and the word spoken aloud. I looked at her and thought to myself, ?B-O-R-I-N-G. The child will NEVER respond to that.?.
I'm not enjoying fighting over there..
The librarians don't remember skiing for more than an hour..
I am not missing surfing..
That librarian isn't enjoying jumping at the company..
Jackie has disliked writing since five weeks ago..
That computer programmer isn't enjoying swimming behind the post office right at this time.
Mr. Hanson isn't practicing working..
i need to get my nails manicured.
---------------------------------------------
Boy, I am rushing to call that number now. Operators are standing by!
Friday, October 14, 2005
Hey mighty readers, check out a few of the fun little items on Amazon:
JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
2003 Nickle for 10 cents... year may vary.
How to blow a fortune and make the FBI's Most Wanted List
I think I am willing to sell some nickles for 10 cents!
JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
2003 Nickle for 10 cents... year may vary.
How to blow a fortune and make the FBI's Most Wanted List
I think I am willing to sell some nickles for 10 cents!
One of my favorite websites (http://www.hotornot.com) reminds us that everyone is beautiful to someone!
Even the fat ugly chicks are scoring well these days!
Even the fat ugly chicks are scoring well these days!
I don't know about you, but I'm excited that it has finally made it to the internet:
The best panties: http://www.shefinds.com/underwear.htm
Today is a good day!
The best panties: http://www.shefinds.com/underwear.htm
Today is a good day!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
One airline is so concerned about your safety and enjoyment that they are installing natural air bags in their planes.
That airline is:
Hooters Air
http://www.hootersair.com brought to you by Hooter's restaurants!
Finally you can feel safe in the air again... and warm, and snug, and slightly aroused.
That airline is:
Hooters Air
http://www.hootersair.com brought to you by Hooter's restaurants!
Finally you can feel safe in the air again... and warm, and snug, and slightly aroused.
Where are all the people complaining about the time it is taking to help in the "Asian Quake Relief"?
By this time after Katrina had rolled through people had pitch forks in their hands and wanted to drag Bush down the street, yet no one is up in arms over the fact that people all over India and Pakistani are dying because of the lack of aid.
Come on people! Where are the aid benefits? Where are all the superstars coming out of the woodwork to do concerts? Where the hell is Bono???
The earthquake just goes to prove, if you don't live in America, then you just don't count. Sure, we will send you the standard token aid, but don't expect people to be crying in their breakfasts and opening their homes to you.
That's right people of Pakistani, when it comes down to it, we don't care about you or India. That's why the theme song of people who move from other countries to here is "Looks like we made it!"
I'm saddened by the fact that the people of the US don't have the same reaction to the earthquake which has killed (estimated) 30 times as many people as the entire 2005 hurricane season did.
Guess Americana's will only be upset when they find out that the delivery of the new Jordans will be delayed because the workers were killed. Of course they will be upset about the shoes, not the people!
By this time after Katrina had rolled through people had pitch forks in their hands and wanted to drag Bush down the street, yet no one is up in arms over the fact that people all over India and Pakistani are dying because of the lack of aid.
Come on people! Where are the aid benefits? Where are all the superstars coming out of the woodwork to do concerts? Where the hell is Bono???
The earthquake just goes to prove, if you don't live in America, then you just don't count. Sure, we will send you the standard token aid, but don't expect people to be crying in their breakfasts and opening their homes to you.
That's right people of Pakistani, when it comes down to it, we don't care about you or India. That's why the theme song of people who move from other countries to here is "Looks like we made it!"
I'm saddened by the fact that the people of the US don't have the same reaction to the earthquake which has killed (estimated) 30 times as many people as the entire 2005 hurricane season did.
Guess Americana's will only be upset when they find out that the delivery of the new Jordans will be delayed because the workers were killed. Of course they will be upset about the shoes, not the people!
It has come to my attention that this blog has failed to be rude or offensive in quite a few days. This being the case I'd like to draw attention to two things:
The St. Louis Blues
The St. Louis Rams
If you look up the definition of suck, first you will find a picture of my x-girlfriend listed there next to "sucking" then you would find the Blues and the Rams.
If the Rams' defense was any worse they would find themselves having to play the Missouri School for the blind to be able to stop the run or beat any wide receivers. Opposing quarterbacks come to St. Louis to play catch with their receivers these days. There were plays this last Sunday where players for Seattle were so open that they were wearing themselves out after the catch and would fall down from exhaustion prior to scoring the easy touchdown.
The Rams offense, once called the greatest show on turf, looks more like it could be used in place of Scott's turf builder to fertilize your yard. All stars like Torry Holt are dropping passes they should be hauling in while Bulger spends more time on his back then most of the city's hooker population.
Just a reminder to the Cardinals... all our hopes, once again, ride on your shoulders! Don't screw it up!
The St. Louis Blues
The St. Louis Rams
If you look up the definition of suck, first you will find a picture of my x-girlfriend listed there next to "sucking" then you would find the Blues and the Rams.
If the Rams' defense was any worse they would find themselves having to play the Missouri School for the blind to be able to stop the run or beat any wide receivers. Opposing quarterbacks come to St. Louis to play catch with their receivers these days. There were plays this last Sunday where players for Seattle were so open that they were wearing themselves out after the catch and would fall down from exhaustion prior to scoring the easy touchdown.
The Rams offense, once called the greatest show on turf, looks more like it could be used in place of Scott's turf builder to fertilize your yard. All stars like Torry Holt are dropping passes they should be hauling in while Bulger spends more time on his back then most of the city's hooker population.
Just a reminder to the Cardinals... all our hopes, once again, ride on your shoulders! Don't screw it up!
In life you find that there are some people you like, and some people you cannot stand. Often you like people because they stand up for their opinion and don't back down. This is also, quite often, the reason you don't like people, especially if their opinion is different than yours!
Here in comes George W Bush and Missouri tin man Matt Blunt... Bush tells us what he is going to do, then does it. Sure 95% of the time your scared of what he is going to do, and then your really scared when he does it. But at least you know exactly what he is going to do. I stated during the election that while I may not like Bush, I knew exactly what he was going to do. Kerry I never had a clue because he was just all over the map. I can respect Bush for that, even if he cannot keep his Republican house in order.
This brings us to my boy Matt Blunt, who has done a fine job of stabbing people in the back all over Missouri. From cutting the First Start program to being just as good at waffling as Kerry is Blunt has confused and bewildered his supporters in Missouri. While he got my vote because his democratic counterpart pissed me off with her statements about him and the fact that her own party was torn and divided, I cannot really say that I have agreed with everything Blunt has done, until now. Blunt has, it seems, found his balls again. He is standing his ground on the issue of stem cell research; and surprisingly it is on my side of the issue, which is definitely not the pro-republican side. Blunt has come out in support of stem cell research in Missouri partially because of the economic boost the state could get from that, whatever his reasons, I am glad to see that he has taken a side and is sticking to it.
Especially since it is the side I agree with!
Here in comes George W Bush and Missouri tin man Matt Blunt... Bush tells us what he is going to do, then does it. Sure 95% of the time your scared of what he is going to do, and then your really scared when he does it. But at least you know exactly what he is going to do. I stated during the election that while I may not like Bush, I knew exactly what he was going to do. Kerry I never had a clue because he was just all over the map. I can respect Bush for that, even if he cannot keep his Republican house in order.
This brings us to my boy Matt Blunt, who has done a fine job of stabbing people in the back all over Missouri. From cutting the First Start program to being just as good at waffling as Kerry is Blunt has confused and bewildered his supporters in Missouri. While he got my vote because his democratic counterpart pissed me off with her statements about him and the fact that her own party was torn and divided, I cannot really say that I have agreed with everything Blunt has done, until now. Blunt has, it seems, found his balls again. He is standing his ground on the issue of stem cell research; and surprisingly it is on my side of the issue, which is definitely not the pro-republican side. Blunt has come out in support of stem cell research in Missouri partially because of the economic boost the state could get from that, whatever his reasons, I am glad to see that he has taken a side and is sticking to it.
Especially since it is the side I agree with!
I found myself at odds, um... with myself... (great I've gone Austin Powers on... myself) this morning when I was flipping through the local newspaper. I came across a picture of GW Bush with some kids at a school reopening in Louisiana. My first thought was to laugh at the byline that said he had been helping at Habitat for Humanity (where he spent most of his time signing autographs and working the press, but that is ok, at least he went).
My point being that while I think Bush is a complete schmuck and I disagree with him on a lot of issues I was interested to see how relaxed he looked with the kids in the classroom. Most of the time he looks like he's been constipated for the last three weeks, but he seemed very comfortable around the kids. So I did a little research and looked through some other photos on the web of him with kids (discounting the joke pictures of babies pissing on him or kids being posed with him for pictures) he always seems to be relaxed around children.
So, I guess I have at least one reason to like him, he likes kids, and not in that scary Michael Jackson way. It might be that he relates to them, or that he has the IQ of one, but whatever the reason I have to give him points for being honest and friendly with them.
Now if we could just stop him from screwing up their educational futures!
My point being that while I think Bush is a complete schmuck and I disagree with him on a lot of issues I was interested to see how relaxed he looked with the kids in the classroom. Most of the time he looks like he's been constipated for the last three weeks, but he seemed very comfortable around the kids. So I did a little research and looked through some other photos on the web of him with kids (discounting the joke pictures of babies pissing on him or kids being posed with him for pictures) he always seems to be relaxed around children.
So, I guess I have at least one reason to like him, he likes kids, and not in that scary Michael Jackson way. It might be that he relates to them, or that he has the IQ of one, but whatever the reason I have to give him points for being honest and friendly with them.
Now if we could just stop him from screwing up their educational futures!
Farmington Missouri, a 17 year old "Special Needs" student brought a gun to school and fired off a single round into the ceiling of a bathroom.
He stated that he did not want to hurt anyone, he only wanted to alienate himself from his fellow classmates.
Looks like he took care of that, now he just has to worry about alienating himself from "Bubba" in state prison.
He stated that he did not want to hurt anyone, he only wanted to alienate himself from his fellow classmates.
Looks like he took care of that, now he just has to worry about alienating himself from "Bubba" in state prison.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Words and Sayings we should use more often:
Boggled
Right as Rain
There are many other words out there that just don't get used enough... but these are the only two I can remember right now, and since it has been a while since I posted anything I thought I would toss this out here now. If you want more words and phrases then I suggest you make up your own.
In related news, only George Bush can take such a great word as 'bush' and ruin it. I mean, there isn't a straight guy on the planet who didn't like looking at some nice bush... but now, it has all gone to pot. (People don't say gone to pot enough!)
Boggled
Right as Rain
There are many other words out there that just don't get used enough... but these are the only two I can remember right now, and since it has been a while since I posted anything I thought I would toss this out here now. If you want more words and phrases then I suggest you make up your own.
In related news, only George Bush can take such a great word as 'bush' and ruin it. I mean, there isn't a straight guy on the planet who didn't like looking at some nice bush... but now, it has all gone to pot. (People don't say gone to pot enough!)
Monday, October 03, 2005
Bill Bennet (former secretary of education) say we can abort all black babies to reduce crime.
(The actual quote: "The crime rate would go down in the U.S. if blacks were aborted, former Secretary of Education Bill Bennett said during his nationally syndicated radio show yesterday: "it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down.")
Um, Bill, how about we abort all the future CEOs? I mean one or two of them could make up (dollar to dollar) for the crime of thousands of the black babies you want to abort!
(The actual quote: "The crime rate would go down in the U.S. if blacks were aborted, former Secretary of Education Bill Bennett said during his nationally syndicated radio show yesterday: "it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down.")
Um, Bill, how about we abort all the future CEOs? I mean one or two of them could make up (dollar to dollar) for the crime of thousands of the black babies you want to abort!
Bush, facing pressure to elect a minority judge to replace O'Conner has decided to elect a woman that he feels can enforce the law.
His choice, Harriet Miers, who will rule with an iron fist and a face that will frighten children into falling in line.
Her first order of business: remove all the mirrors from the Supreme Court. She doesn't want to get turned to stone when she catches a glimpse of herself.
On the plus side, she has never said "If we abort all the black babies there would be less crime."
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