From the world of product placement:
I was reading an article online at my favorite news source (http://www.iwon.com, I have the dream of winning inside me!) about Tom DeLay and his little inappropriate use of money...
Within the articles on iwon they place ads. The ad inside of the story about DeLay was, ironically, an ad for a vacation.
That has to be the best product placement of the year!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
This next set of nipples belongs to...
The king of Swaziland selected a 17 year old virgin to be his 13th wife. He selected her from a line up of 50,000 topless virgins.
The law has one stipulation prior to their marriage. She must become pregnant, thus proving her fertility.
Let me get this straight:
100,000 boobies
premarital sex
a wife who is 17 and never had sex so she has no idea how good or bad you are
Is it just me, or is it damn good to be the king???
The king of Swaziland selected a 17 year old virgin to be his 13th wife. He selected her from a line up of 50,000 topless virgins.
The law has one stipulation prior to their marriage. She must become pregnant, thus proving her fertility.
Let me get this straight:
100,000 boobies
premarital sex
a wife who is 17 and never had sex so she has no idea how good or bad you are
Is it just me, or is it damn good to be the king???
I only fucked up because everyone else fucked down...
Brown, the former director of FEMA who failed to get it in gear after Rita is tossing the blame around like dollar bills in a strip joint. He's blaming Bush, Homeland Security, the state of Louisiana, and if he could get away with it he would probably blame OJ Simpson, I mean, we all know he's guilty.
One quote from the brave leader of FEMA was: "My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana was dysfunctional," two days before the storm hit, Brown told the panel.
Hey, um, Michael, I hope you don't plan to spend any time in the south. They might bring back lynching just for you.
I'm not sure anyone would object either.
Brown, the former director of FEMA who failed to get it in gear after Rita is tossing the blame around like dollar bills in a strip joint. He's blaming Bush, Homeland Security, the state of Louisiana, and if he could get away with it he would probably blame OJ Simpson, I mean, we all know he's guilty.
One quote from the brave leader of FEMA was: "My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana was dysfunctional," two days before the storm hit, Brown told the panel.
Hey, um, Michael, I hope you don't plan to spend any time in the south. They might bring back lynching just for you.
I'm not sure anyone would object either.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
This just in, religion is boring.
I went to a little girl's baptism on Saturday. First of all, the girl is about 10 months old so she has no idea of what she has just been forced into. I mean is it really right to decide the religious obligations of a child that is so young she cannot even use the toilet?
But, I know it is tradition to bring your children into the same religious hoopla as you were put into. That being said, this church was the most boring thing I have ever attended. There was no emotion in the building. People sat there and looked like they were in some kind of trance while they were preached at then they filed up and took communion.
It looked like something out of the old Apple commercial 1984, or for those that have no idea what I am talking about, it was kind of like a bad zombie movie. I expected to see drool coming out of the people's mouths.
I even tried to dance with the older sister of the girl getting baptised and her parents were dumbfounded that I would attempt to have fun in church...
I think it comes down to the old saying that Christians enjoy morning their religion when they should be celebrating their faith. I am just lost as to why this church was packed wall to wall with people who looked like they would rather have their finger nails pulled out than be in the building for an hour.
Now, I am not very religious, anyone who knows me can attest to that and I find most organized religious to be offensive because of the fact that the money they bring is is poorly used and the church itself is often a greater concern than the community. This is not just my dislike of the Christian religions but of religion in general. Don't misunderstand me, I am more than accepting of people's individual faiths, I think each person has a right to choose a faith and make of it as they wish, but religion has just gotten out of hand.
Lets talk about the Christians for a minute. First of all, Jesus was a very simple man and when he spoke to the people it was always outdoors, yet we have huge towering churches and cathedrals dedicated to him and God. I just find it odd that a religion built around the preachings of one man doesn't even really follow the teachings of that man. Jesus would never want to be considered an equal of God or even a preacher. He believed himself to be a teacher, someone who wanted to share his message with others. He had always been a carpenter and enjoyed building things, so he had started out to build his message with the people, not to build a new religion but a new way of thinking and hope.
Why is it that Christians so often have these services that are cold and impersonal? Now I have been to some good services where people actually appear to be celebrating their faith and enjoying their belief in God and this is the way it should be.
So, I say, if your Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Taoist, Buddhist, whatever... celebrate your faith, make it a part of you and share its warmth and greatness with others; but remember it is the unique idea of ever person on the planet that makes us great and can help us to shine.
I went to a little girl's baptism on Saturday. First of all, the girl is about 10 months old so she has no idea of what she has just been forced into. I mean is it really right to decide the religious obligations of a child that is so young she cannot even use the toilet?
But, I know it is tradition to bring your children into the same religious hoopla as you were put into. That being said, this church was the most boring thing I have ever attended. There was no emotion in the building. People sat there and looked like they were in some kind of trance while they were preached at then they filed up and took communion.
It looked like something out of the old Apple commercial 1984, or for those that have no idea what I am talking about, it was kind of like a bad zombie movie. I expected to see drool coming out of the people's mouths.
I even tried to dance with the older sister of the girl getting baptised and her parents were dumbfounded that I would attempt to have fun in church...
I think it comes down to the old saying that Christians enjoy morning their religion when they should be celebrating their faith. I am just lost as to why this church was packed wall to wall with people who looked like they would rather have their finger nails pulled out than be in the building for an hour.
Now, I am not very religious, anyone who knows me can attest to that and I find most organized religious to be offensive because of the fact that the money they bring is is poorly used and the church itself is often a greater concern than the community. This is not just my dislike of the Christian religions but of religion in general. Don't misunderstand me, I am more than accepting of people's individual faiths, I think each person has a right to choose a faith and make of it as they wish, but religion has just gotten out of hand.
Lets talk about the Christians for a minute. First of all, Jesus was a very simple man and when he spoke to the people it was always outdoors, yet we have huge towering churches and cathedrals dedicated to him and God. I just find it odd that a religion built around the preachings of one man doesn't even really follow the teachings of that man. Jesus would never want to be considered an equal of God or even a preacher. He believed himself to be a teacher, someone who wanted to share his message with others. He had always been a carpenter and enjoyed building things, so he had started out to build his message with the people, not to build a new religion but a new way of thinking and hope.
Why is it that Christians so often have these services that are cold and impersonal? Now I have been to some good services where people actually appear to be celebrating their faith and enjoying their belief in God and this is the way it should be.
So, I say, if your Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Taoist, Buddhist, whatever... celebrate your faith, make it a part of you and share its warmth and greatness with others; but remember it is the unique idea of ever person on the planet that makes us great and can help us to shine.
Pro Life and Pro Choice. A lot of people talk about they are pro-life or they are pro-choice, but I am confused by a lot of these people.
Pro Life people don't want to see a baby aborted. They consider the cells to be a living creature. Of course they are correct, any cell is a living creature. Cancer cells are a living creature, a cow is a living creature, a plant is a living creature. It also boggles me that many pro life people are also pro death penalty. So what they are saying is, it is not OK to kill an innocent baby, but it is OK to kill someone if they make a mistake or when it is eye for an eye. So retribution is OK?
Pro Choice people don't want to see a woman loose their right to have control over their own body and to have the right to choose what to do. However, let a group of pharmacists decided they have a choice not to give out birth control pills and it is a problem. So, what this group is saying is that one person has the right to choose, while another one does not?
Maybe it is me, but are we not starting to blur the lines in where we stand here? I mean, if your pro life, then you should be pro ALL life, you should find it offensive that animals are killed for food, that clear cutting of trees for lumber is destroying the face of the planet, and that murders have the same rights as unborn babes to continue their life, perhaps it is true that we should not judge others and leave that to a higher power. Now, for the pro choice people. If your going to be pro choice, then you have to be PRO CHOICE. It does not mean you get the option to say one group can do whatever the hell they want while the other group cannot.
I would like to, at this time, create a third group called "Pro Common Sense" This group will stand for the following:
1) We will be pro people making choices in their lives that are not a danger to the population at large. This includes allowing people to have abortions, select what medicines they feel comfortable selling, and being able to make choices in their lives
2) Pro death penalty. While we support the death penalty, I would like to see the penalty dolled out faster. People sit in jail for years prior to termination. This being said, I would also like to see the system changed to have two trials. One original trial, and one prior to the termination to review all of the information available and to ensure that the system is correct prior to killing the possibly still innocent man
3) We will be pro education. Instead of worrying about stopping people at the abortion clinic after they have gotten pregnant wouldn't it be better if we could educate people to practice safe sex or to abstain from sex? If we could eliminate the need for abortion (OK, I know the need cannot be completely eliminated, but it could be greatly reduced). We could get parents involved, schools involved, teen groups involved. Education is the key to bringing the pro life and pro choice people together.
I don't think anyone is going to say that abortion is a good thing. It is an unpleasant experience that no one really wants to go through, but as long as the pro choice and pro life people are attacking each other instead of looking to resolve the one thing that they can agree on, we will never really get a resolution that works.
Pro Life people don't want to see a baby aborted. They consider the cells to be a living creature. Of course they are correct, any cell is a living creature. Cancer cells are a living creature, a cow is a living creature, a plant is a living creature. It also boggles me that many pro life people are also pro death penalty. So what they are saying is, it is not OK to kill an innocent baby, but it is OK to kill someone if they make a mistake or when it is eye for an eye. So retribution is OK?
Pro Choice people don't want to see a woman loose their right to have control over their own body and to have the right to choose what to do. However, let a group of pharmacists decided they have a choice not to give out birth control pills and it is a problem. So, what this group is saying is that one person has the right to choose, while another one does not?
Maybe it is me, but are we not starting to blur the lines in where we stand here? I mean, if your pro life, then you should be pro ALL life, you should find it offensive that animals are killed for food, that clear cutting of trees for lumber is destroying the face of the planet, and that murders have the same rights as unborn babes to continue their life, perhaps it is true that we should not judge others and leave that to a higher power. Now, for the pro choice people. If your going to be pro choice, then you have to be PRO CHOICE. It does not mean you get the option to say one group can do whatever the hell they want while the other group cannot.
I would like to, at this time, create a third group called "Pro Common Sense" This group will stand for the following:
1) We will be pro people making choices in their lives that are not a danger to the population at large. This includes allowing people to have abortions, select what medicines they feel comfortable selling, and being able to make choices in their lives
2) Pro death penalty. While we support the death penalty, I would like to see the penalty dolled out faster. People sit in jail for years prior to termination. This being said, I would also like to see the system changed to have two trials. One original trial, and one prior to the termination to review all of the information available and to ensure that the system is correct prior to killing the possibly still innocent man
3) We will be pro education. Instead of worrying about stopping people at the abortion clinic after they have gotten pregnant wouldn't it be better if we could educate people to practice safe sex or to abstain from sex? If we could eliminate the need for abortion (OK, I know the need cannot be completely eliminated, but it could be greatly reduced). We could get parents involved, schools involved, teen groups involved. Education is the key to bringing the pro life and pro choice people together.
I don't think anyone is going to say that abortion is a good thing. It is an unpleasant experience that no one really wants to go through, but as long as the pro choice and pro life people are attacking each other instead of looking to resolve the one thing that they can agree on, we will never really get a resolution that works.
Simon Wiesenthal Dies. Simon was once a Nazi prisoner for the simple act of being born Jewish. Since he was freed by the Americans when they liberated the camp he was being held in he dedicated his life (at that time he thought it would be "a few years") to hunting down Nazi criminals and fighting bigotry and hatred.
Simon wanted nothing more than to make sure that what happened to 6 million Jews did not go unpunished and forgotten.
Simon and I disagree on one point. He believes that nothing compares to the attempted extermination of the Jewish people, while I see the attempted extermination of any people being an equal to what the Nazis attempted to do. While it may not have the same numbers (even though the wholesale slaughter of people because they have darker skin color far outnumbers the 6 million Jews and continues today) it is just as important to remember those who died in India, South America, Africa, China... wherever it happens to be.
No one deserves to be killed because of their color or beliefs.
Simon wanted nothing more than to make sure that what happened to 6 million Jews did not go unpunished and forgotten.
Simon and I disagree on one point. He believes that nothing compares to the attempted extermination of the Jewish people, while I see the attempted extermination of any people being an equal to what the Nazis attempted to do. While it may not have the same numbers (even though the wholesale slaughter of people because they have darker skin color far outnumbers the 6 million Jews and continues today) it is just as important to remember those who died in India, South America, Africa, China... wherever it happens to be.
No one deserves to be killed because of their color or beliefs.
Friday, September 16, 2005
On a personal note: I discovered that sitting in traffic when you really have to take a crap is the most painful thing ever! I mean this guy in front of me could not have been moving any slower!
When I finally got to a bathroom I think I must have been storing up like 12 days worth of poo because there was a hella lot of poo there when I was done and I actually started to float away from the toilet seat like halfway through.
I'm thinking that part of the road rage issue is people that really have to poo, I mean I was in a bad mood when the guy in front of me kept hitting his brakes to avoid the dangerous miles of empty air and road that were ahead of him.
But it might have been that he didn't have to poo, but I am chocking it up to the guy being a dumbass.
When I finally got to a bathroom I think I must have been storing up like 12 days worth of poo because there was a hella lot of poo there when I was done and I actually started to float away from the toilet seat like halfway through.
I'm thinking that part of the road rage issue is people that really have to poo, I mean I was in a bad mood when the guy in front of me kept hitting his brakes to avoid the dangerous miles of empty air and road that were ahead of him.
But it might have been that he didn't have to poo, but I am chocking it up to the guy being a dumbass.
In a discussion with a friend I came up with, OK, the truth is I am stealing his idea, to form a company and tie it to a future president. Think about it. First, you build this company and then you get someone who is the President of the United States to be your buddy and every project that comes along suddenly ends up on your plate.
I was thinking I could create a company that provides sexy interns for an exorbitant fee... that or an oil company that just lets me travel around "looking" for new oil.
I think there is great potential in both of these companies, although the intern idea might be a little to close to "Girls gone wild." Maybe I could do like a cross promotion...
Personally I'd rather do the global exploration, but the intern idea seems to be the better money maker, maybe I could create some kind of dual function company, interns and [baby] oil, they just go better together!
I was thinking I could create a company that provides sexy interns for an exorbitant fee... that or an oil company that just lets me travel around "looking" for new oil.
I think there is great potential in both of these companies, although the intern idea might be a little to close to "Girls gone wild." Maybe I could do like a cross promotion...
Personally I'd rather do the global exploration, but the intern idea seems to be the better money maker, maybe I could create some kind of dual function company, interns and [baby] oil, they just go better together!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
When ya gotta go, you gotta go
According to Ynetnews.com this picture is of Bush writing a note to Rice that he needs to go to the potty.
What I want to know is, does Condoleezza have the key to the bathrooms or does he just like to write notes?
Read the article here: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3142608,00.html
A taxicab driver called the Frisco police to report a woman who assaulted him when she refused to pay her fare. He also said when he dropped off the woman and the man accompanying her, the man left his wallet behind.A Frisco sergeant tracked the pair down at the post office and asked what happened. The woman said the driver had pushed her out of the cab, that she had called 911 during the assault and that the dispatch tapes would prove she was in the right.She also said she had the injuries to prove she was assaulted and lifted up her pant leg to reveal an abrasion on her knee. She also revealed a bag of weed tucked into her calf-high boot. She said she had found the weed on the floor of a bathroom in a Breckenridge bar. The sergeant confiscated the drugs and reviewed the 911 tapes and determined the driver was the one who was assaulted. The woman paid her $31 cab fare and the driver left without pressing charges.
Once again people, if your going to carry pot around with you, pay the freaking cab fare.
Once again people, if your going to carry pot around with you, pay the freaking cab fare.
Camilla Parker Bowles...
Sure, I am a little past her making news, but I was just thinking about horses and she popped into my mind. I mean, Prince Charles is going to be the King of England and the best he can do is a woman who's best talent is her picture can cure hiccups???
Sure, Charles looks like he has a giant tea cup with two handles for a head, but come on, he's going to be the King of England! That's got to score him some points in the "Get in my bed" category.
But it could just be me.
Sure, I am a little past her making news, but I was just thinking about horses and she popped into my mind. I mean, Prince Charles is going to be the King of England and the best he can do is a woman who's best talent is her picture can cure hiccups???
Sure, Charles looks like he has a giant tea cup with two handles for a head, but come on, he's going to be the King of England! That's got to score him some points in the "Get in my bed" category.
But it could just be me.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
The blame game...
America has always been great at one thing, blaming others. We blame Osama for attacking us, and because we couldn't find him we decided to blame Saddam.
Then along comes a hurricane, and we certainly cannot blame God, I mean come on, he'd just kick our ass, so what happens, everyone starts to blame someone else.
The democrats blame the republicans.
The republicans blame the states.
The states blame the federal government.
Gore blames the guy that made the stupid answer card up for "Potatoe"
Natural disasters are nothing new, they seem to just pop up every few years and the government is like "Well, we didn't see that coming." It seems that every year or two we have these events happen and all the government can say is "We were never prepared for such a catastrophe!"
Well, it is going to continue to happen until we as Americans decide that enough is enough and each and everyone of us take the responsibility to learn how to handle events in our lives and the government, at every level creates a catastrophe plan.
Here are some pointers:
#1 Do NOT surround yourself in a plastic room, plastic does not allow you to breath.
#2 Do NOT put the good snacks into a emergency pack, you will probably eat them and not refill the pack
#3 Dedicate a safe area for your family to go. Then dedicate a safe area for you to go to with your girlfriend. Make sure it is stocked with a big screen, beer, and plenty of sex toys.
Anyway...
Lets try not pointing fingers, because it doesn't matter who is responsible for what. It only matters that something happened and now we have to respond. What happened before the hurricane landed, even what has happened since then does not matter. The only thing that matters is the actions the government and the private sector that is rebuilding the city do from now on; and lets just hope they do whatever they can.
America has always been great at one thing, blaming others. We blame Osama for attacking us, and because we couldn't find him we decided to blame Saddam.
Then along comes a hurricane, and we certainly cannot blame God, I mean come on, he'd just kick our ass, so what happens, everyone starts to blame someone else.
The democrats blame the republicans.
The republicans blame the states.
The states blame the federal government.
Gore blames the guy that made the stupid answer card up for "Potatoe"
Natural disasters are nothing new, they seem to just pop up every few years and the government is like "Well, we didn't see that coming." It seems that every year or two we have these events happen and all the government can say is "We were never prepared for such a catastrophe!"
Well, it is going to continue to happen until we as Americans decide that enough is enough and each and everyone of us take the responsibility to learn how to handle events in our lives and the government, at every level creates a catastrophe plan.
Here are some pointers:
#1 Do NOT surround yourself in a plastic room, plastic does not allow you to breath.
#2 Do NOT put the good snacks into a emergency pack, you will probably eat them and not refill the pack
#3 Dedicate a safe area for your family to go. Then dedicate a safe area for you to go to with your girlfriend. Make sure it is stocked with a big screen, beer, and plenty of sex toys.
Anyway...
Lets try not pointing fingers, because it doesn't matter who is responsible for what. It only matters that something happened and now we have to respond. What happened before the hurricane landed, even what has happened since then does not matter. The only thing that matters is the actions the government and the private sector that is rebuilding the city do from now on; and lets just hope they do whatever they can.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Bush man's up to take blame for the mistakes made post hurricane. The rest of the world is heard to say "DUHHHHHHH".
In a related story, George Bush, Sr. has released the following comments:
"I'm really sorry that I unleased Jeb on the world, and I know that mankind and God can never forgive me for allowing GW to be born let alone run the world's super power. My God have mercy on my soul for my mistakes."
This might explain why Bush Sr. has been spending a lot of time with Clinton lately. It was reported that Clinton has been envited to the Bush farm and GW has been invited to go to hell.
The only stipulation on Clinton visiting is that the Bush girls cannot be there, because we all know Clinton has been a Bush man for a lonnnnngggggggggg time.
In a related story, George Bush, Sr. has released the following comments:
"I'm really sorry that I unleased Jeb on the world, and I know that mankind and God can never forgive me for allowing GW to be born let alone run the world's super power. My God have mercy on my soul for my mistakes."
This might explain why Bush Sr. has been spending a lot of time with Clinton lately. It was reported that Clinton has been envited to the Bush farm and GW has been invited to go to hell.
The only stipulation on Clinton visiting is that the Bush girls cannot be there, because we all know Clinton has been a Bush man for a lonnnnngggggggggg time.
Hey, Richard Hatch, the world knows your gay, and now they know your stupid too!
Survivor "star" and winner of the first season Richard Hatch is in trouble with the IRS for not reporting the one million dollar prize he won. Um, Richard, Survivor was the top rated show on TV at the time, did you think the people at the IRS were busy the nights it was on?
Not only did Richard fail to report his winnings, but he has also failed to report other monies and now faces up to 75 years in jail (federal prison) and millions of dollars in fines.
This arrogant bastard had come to an agreement with the IRS but then decided that he could fight it based on his belief that CBS paid the taxes for him... which of course means that NONE of us have to report our earnings because our companies have been paying the taxes on them for years!!!
Listen Richard, you better like taking up the ass because your about to become the star or Anal Survivor in cell block 16!
Survivor "star" and winner of the first season Richard Hatch is in trouble with the IRS for not reporting the one million dollar prize he won. Um, Richard, Survivor was the top rated show on TV at the time, did you think the people at the IRS were busy the nights it was on?
Not only did Richard fail to report his winnings, but he has also failed to report other monies and now faces up to 75 years in jail (federal prison) and millions of dollars in fines.
This arrogant bastard had come to an agreement with the IRS but then decided that he could fight it based on his belief that CBS paid the taxes for him... which of course means that NONE of us have to report our earnings because our companies have been paying the taxes on them for years!!!
Listen Richard, you better like taking up the ass because your about to become the star or Anal Survivor in cell block 16!
Monday, September 12, 2005
Want to get pregnant, try this ride! A couple in Germany had been trying to get pregnant for a long time (time was not released in the story I heard) and had been failing. They believed that one of them was sterile.
One day they had sex, then went to the local amusement park and rode on one of the fastest roller coasters in the world. 40 weeks later they had a son.
The theory is that the g-forces of the ride helped the sperm deeper into the vagina and they found the egg...
Six Flags is going to be spending more money on posters for fertility clinics.
One day they had sex, then went to the local amusement park and rode on one of the fastest roller coasters in the world. 40 weeks later they had a son.
The theory is that the g-forces of the ride helped the sperm deeper into the vagina and they found the egg...
Six Flags is going to be spending more money on posters for fertility clinics.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Kaye West takes down Bush:
West was part of a benefit for victims of the herricane on Friday and he went a little off the prompter when he said "George Bush doesn't care about black people."
A have to agree with West, but I would like to adjust it to say that "George Bush doesn't care about the American people, unless you have several million dollars and gave to his campain.
But West's comments are quite funny. You can see them here.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Today's thought: Stupid people
Darwin once said that only the fit will survive. Imagine what Darwin would say were he to go to a Wal-mart in a rural area. I think he would just fall down and cry watching as his theory goes up in smoke thanks to the miracles of modern science.
Stupid people, once thought of as town idiots or locked up in asylums so that the rest of us could easily avoid them, have become the common place person now. It never fails to amaze me that people can on a continuous basis commit stupid acts from looking at a menu then asking the person behind the counter what they have for sale to not being able to unlock a car.
Now, I give older people an excuse to not understand technology, but anyone under 30 should have a firm grasp on how to use a computer and be able to work with it in a functional manner. As a matter of fact I think a computer test should be part of the hiring process. If you cannot pass the test you cannot be hired.
It just boggles the mind that these stupid people can continue to function in our world. They should have been dragged off by wolves or run over by a bus, yet the continue to allow the elderly to drive and the retarded to be president.
I guess, if nothing else can be said about GW Bush, let it be said that he has given stupid people everywhere the chance to be president.
For more on stupid people visit the Darwin Awards at: http://www.darwinawards.com/
Or just do a Google search: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&rls=DVXA%2CDVXA%3A2004-52%2CDVXA%3Aen&q=Stupid+People
Darwin once said that only the fit will survive. Imagine what Darwin would say were he to go to a Wal-mart in a rural area. I think he would just fall down and cry watching as his theory goes up in smoke thanks to the miracles of modern science.
Stupid people, once thought of as town idiots or locked up in asylums so that the rest of us could easily avoid them, have become the common place person now. It never fails to amaze me that people can on a continuous basis commit stupid acts from looking at a menu then asking the person behind the counter what they have for sale to not being able to unlock a car.
Now, I give older people an excuse to not understand technology, but anyone under 30 should have a firm grasp on how to use a computer and be able to work with it in a functional manner. As a matter of fact I think a computer test should be part of the hiring process. If you cannot pass the test you cannot be hired.
It just boggles the mind that these stupid people can continue to function in our world. They should have been dragged off by wolves or run over by a bus, yet the continue to allow the elderly to drive and the retarded to be president.
I guess, if nothing else can be said about GW Bush, let it be said that he has given stupid people everywhere the chance to be president.
For more on stupid people visit the Darwin Awards at: http://www.darwinawards.com/
Or just do a Google search: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&rls=DVXA%2CDVXA%3A2004-52%2CDVXA%3Aen&q=Stupid+People
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Welcome to another addition of what ever the hell I want to say:
Today's topic: Masturbation
Let me tell ya, this is the key to world peace. If everyone would masturbate a little more often people would be in a better mood, they would have less time to bomb large buildings in the US or attack third world countries that had very little or nothing to do with said bombings, and overall the world would just be a little sleepier.
Not to mention, the porn industry (which is already doing quite well) could have a boost, which in turn could help the economy to recover faster.
It can also lower your blood pressure, relieve stress, and strengthen your lower arm and hand muscles ;)
So come on people, whip it out and wack one off for world peace!
Today's topic: Masturbation
Let me tell ya, this is the key to world peace. If everyone would masturbate a little more often people would be in a better mood, they would have less time to bomb large buildings in the US or attack third world countries that had very little or nothing to do with said bombings, and overall the world would just be a little sleepier.
Not to mention, the porn industry (which is already doing quite well) could have a boost, which in turn could help the economy to recover faster.
It can also lower your blood pressure, relieve stress, and strengthen your lower arm and hand muscles ;)
So come on people, whip it out and wack one off for world peace!
Welcome to my rantings. My wife often complains that I post things that are offensive and rude on the Acksjay site (http://www.acksjay.com) so I will just post my offensive and rude things here. If you have a problem with that I suggest writing it on a piece of paper, taping that paper to your back and tossing yourself off the closest tall building.
PS, please try to land on your favorite (or least favorite) politician. I figure this is a lot more humane for the rest of us than allowing them to stay in office.
That being said, what the hell is going on around here? We have city after city in Louisiana that is under water and 28 miles of coast that Mother Nature just used to wipe herself clean and I have to listen to people complain about the job that is being done to help these people and get the country "back on it's feet".
To that I say, if you want to bitch and complain then you get your ass down there and help out. Till that happens keep your mouth shut because your not doing any more than the people you are complaining about, probably a lot lot less; and no, making a donation does not give you the right to bitch about how the effort is advancing.
If your not providing a benefit for the people that have been effected then you are just complaining about something that is too complex for any single person to understand or grasp.
When the tsunami happened, people went from bad to worse, but much of that area quickly drained. New Orleans will stay underwater until the water is manually removed. The city is destroyed. Not to say that rebuilding the coastal area of the US is more complex then rebuilding the areas destroyed in the tsunami, but it is, so it is going to take time.
FEMA, Homeland Security, whatever, whoever... they are not prepared for disasters of this size, the US continues to believe it is indestructible and stronger than anything that attacks it (be it nature or "terrorist".
People were mad that area's were not prepped for this situation, but who sat around and thought that this could happen? Sure, the best plan is one that prepares for the worst and hopes for the best and perhaps FEMA and other organizations failed to do that, but historically there has been very little damage caused by any hurricanes. Not to say that being prepared isn't more valuable than having to scramble to respond after something happens.
Anyway, today's complaint is not about the job that the people in effected areas are doing, because it is easy to bitch about that, but to tell the people that are complaining about it to shut up or put up.
Complaining about it from the safety of your living room is pathetic. Get out and do something if you feel it is being handled wrong. Put your ass in harms way and help or take your opinion and put it back where no one has to listen to it, because your not helping the situation or the people in need.
PS, please try to land on your favorite (or least favorite) politician. I figure this is a lot more humane for the rest of us than allowing them to stay in office.
That being said, what the hell is going on around here? We have city after city in Louisiana that is under water and 28 miles of coast that Mother Nature just used to wipe herself clean and I have to listen to people complain about the job that is being done to help these people and get the country "back on it's feet".
To that I say, if you want to bitch and complain then you get your ass down there and help out. Till that happens keep your mouth shut because your not doing any more than the people you are complaining about, probably a lot lot less; and no, making a donation does not give you the right to bitch about how the effort is advancing.
If your not providing a benefit for the people that have been effected then you are just complaining about something that is too complex for any single person to understand or grasp.
When the tsunami happened, people went from bad to worse, but much of that area quickly drained. New Orleans will stay underwater until the water is manually removed. The city is destroyed. Not to say that rebuilding the coastal area of the US is more complex then rebuilding the areas destroyed in the tsunami, but it is, so it is going to take time.
FEMA, Homeland Security, whatever, whoever... they are not prepared for disasters of this size, the US continues to believe it is indestructible and stronger than anything that attacks it (be it nature or "terrorist".
People were mad that area's were not prepped for this situation, but who sat around and thought that this could happen? Sure, the best plan is one that prepares for the worst and hopes for the best and perhaps FEMA and other organizations failed to do that, but historically there has been very little damage caused by any hurricanes. Not to say that being prepared isn't more valuable than having to scramble to respond after something happens.
Anyway, today's complaint is not about the job that the people in effected areas are doing, because it is easy to bitch about that, but to tell the people that are complaining about it to shut up or put up.
Complaining about it from the safety of your living room is pathetic. Get out and do something if you feel it is being handled wrong. Put your ass in harms way and help or take your opinion and put it back where no one has to listen to it, because your not helping the situation or the people in need.
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